An Important School Readiness Skill
Recently I was in one of our preschool classrooms when I observed what often occurs with 4 year olds—CONFLICT! As the children went to the small group table, two children wanted to sit next to same child…and a chair was not available ---Houston we have a problem! The one child staked out her position behind a child in the preferred chair and exclaimed, “I want to sit next to Bobby. The teacher confirmed, “You look upset, it sounds like we have a problem, as there is not a chair available next to Bobby, what could you do?” The child with the problem suggested that the one child could just move, however that child declared that he wanted to sit next to Bobby too.” The teacher confirmed, “So it does not sound like that will work”. Another child offered that, the child with the problem could sit next to Bobby next time. However, that did not work for the girl with the problem either. Still another child suggested that if these three people moved to other chairs, it would let open up three chairs and they both could then sit by Bobby. Of course as you may have guessed, this solution did not “work” of the other children at the table. Finally, another child suggested that the one child switch chairs with the teacher. The target child looked with big hopeful eyes at the teacher and the teacher said, “Ask me.” So the teacher said, Miss Amanda, could you sit in this chair and can I sit in your chair so I can be next to Bobby?” The teacher said, “Sure I can do that today.” Success, one child raised their arms in a cheer and said, “We did it, we solved the problem.”
There were so many wonderful moments in this interaction for both the teacher and the children. When the teacher first started teaching in this program, she was the problem solver and most likely she would have directed the child where to sit. This is how most adults perceive their role with young children, I am the authority, I will keep the order and conflict was something you want to avoid. However, she remained calm, and in a supportive role, restating and or summarizing children’s statements. One of the clear themes that emerged to me in this interaction was not only that children have learned that they can solve their own problems but the sense of community that has been created in this environment. Other children cared and offered ideas to help solve the problem. From the child stand point, the child with the problem had learned to use her words to communicate and work through the problem which is another HUGE life skill. There was no crying, pouting and physical tantrums in an effort to get her needs met. The higher level thought processes were also evident as the group studied the dynamic and offered solutions to the problem. Problem solving is an important skill for young children to learn to work effectively with others.
In all of the Great Start Readiness Preschool Programs (GSRP) teaching conflict resolution is a required component of the program. High Scope offers the following steps to implement the problem solving process, which you can try at home.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STEPS
Approach calmly, stopping any hurtful actions. Place yourself between the children, on their level; use a calm voice and gentle touch; remain neutral rather than take sides.
Acknowledge children's feelings. Say something simple such as “You look really upset;” let children know you need to hold any object in question.
Gather information. Ask “What's the problem?” Do not ask “why” questions as young children focus on that what the problem is rather than understanding the reasons behind it.
Restate the problem: “So the problem is...” Use and extend the children’s vocabulary, substituting neutral words for hurtful or judgmental ones (such as “stupid”) if needed.
Ask for solutions and choose one together. Ask “What can we do to solve this problem?” Encourage children to think of a solution but offer options if the children are unable to at first.
Be prepared to give follow-up support. Acknowledge children’s accomplishments, e.g., “You solved the problem!” Stay nearby in case anyone is not happy with the solution and the process needs repeating.
The next day, I went into this same classroom to observe the large group time which happens at the very beginning of the day. The teacher informed the children, that today they would use the felt board for all of the children to participate in re-telling the story that they had read a couple times already that week. She said, she had pieces of the story in the bag and she was going to give one piece to each child. As she started to pass them out, a child sitting in the circle proclaimed, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” As the teacher handed out 16 pieces of the story without one expression of protest I thought, these children have learned another very important lesson about life. Somethings are just not a choice, you just do it.
As there is so much emphasis about academic skills being the cornerstone of a “ready child”, these examples highlight the importance of supporting and building preschoolers social-emotional skills. These are life skills that will take children successfully into kindergarten and all through life.
This post was provided by Chery Granzo, Director of Early Childhood Programs for Ionia County Intermediate School District.