Forward by Pam
Gregorski, MSW Social Worker with
the Ionia ISD Early Intervention
program.
Motherhood. Never a
dull moment. This is especially true for
those special mothers who choose to be foster moms. As a clinical therapist, I appreciate the
article “Why Consequences and Rewards Don’t Work for Hurting Children” by TRACY DEE WHITT. It touches the heart of every foster
parent who has thought, “Yes, I have tried (insert advice), and since it did
not work, what does that say about me?”
Foster children have had different experiences than other children. These children feel repeatedly abandoned,
isolated, powerless or uncared for. They
will learn that they can’t depend on others and the world is a dangerous and
frightening place.
Typical interventions for behavior will not work for these
children. They are in constant survival
mode. The only need they desire to fill
is the need to feel safe. Typical
interventions, such as “Love and Logic” are wonderful, but “Love and Logic”
will only work with children in a loving environment and who are bonded and
attached to their caregivers. Does this
sound like children placed in the foster care system? Sadly, this is what most foster parents are
trained to use in those tough situations.
So what does it say about you when everything you have tried
to deal with your foster child’s behavior has not worked? It says you are normal. Do not be afraid of your foster child’s
behavior. Stick with it. Our society
needs you, and most of all, the children in your care need you. Read on to see why your foster child’s
behavior is typical and also get some ideas as to why typical interventions do
not work, and what may work instead.
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